Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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