im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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