I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
