Are we in a gay sports bar?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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