Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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