By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
