My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
