I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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