I CAN MOONWALK!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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