OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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