i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
In America we eat man semen.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
