I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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