He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
party gras won. party gras always wins.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
