i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
