Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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