His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
