i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
