they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
