you didnt know i had herpes?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
