I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
