I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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