That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
