I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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