She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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