Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
