You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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