i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
