Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
