i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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