I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize