You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
