I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
