I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
