Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
