Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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