these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
PANTIES FOUND
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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