My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
