guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sext me about skeletons
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize