Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
