u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
