The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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