Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
