You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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