Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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