I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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