You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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