i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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