your room smells of hookers.
And success
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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