Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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