I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
