I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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