I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
