Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.