She announced her abortion via fbk
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
should my penis look like a turkey
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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