I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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