it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
