My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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