You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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