are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
